History of Mature Friends
The history of any organization resides in its members. This is especially true of volunteer organizations. Mature Friends has been an organization for older gay men and women since the late 1980s. As Gay studies increasingly become a legitimate academic pursuit, it became important to document our activities and make the account accessible to future historians. So, in June 2005, the Board of Mature Friends established a History Committee to document the early history of the group.
How We Obtained the History
The committee obtained oral histories from as many of the founding and early members as possible. Interview sessions were recorded on tape and later transcribed. The University of Washington Library is final repository of the final report, as well as ancillary documents.
The committee interviewed 10 people who were either founding members or members at an early stage of the club. It was apparent at this stage, some 16-18 years after the founding of the club, that memories were a little hazy. Fortunately, the club's extensive archive of materials was an invaluable resource.
How We Formed
All the people interviewed agreed that John Reeder was the catalyst behind the formation of Mature Friends. John had not intended to found a new organization, preferring to work with existing organizations. One such organization was the Lavender Panthers, an offshoot of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a group created by Seattle Mayor Wes Uhlman. John was interested in having a safe place where men and women of the community could come together. John’s first activity with the Lavender Panthers was to help them organize a Christmas party in 1988. John enthusiastically helped plan the party, create the decorations with fresh greens, and provide red tablecloths and a program. John’s energetic efforts were not viewed favorably by the women who comprised most of the original members of the Lavender Panthers. His efforts were regarded as “taking over” the club.
Officers, Name, and Purpose
John still felt a need for an organization where older gays and lesbians, those over 50 years of age (now 40), could meet socially in a safe environment. A safe environment meant a non-bar environment, in as much as these were older people for whom the bar scene was not a good place to meet others their age. In addition, John himself was recovering from alcoholism, so bars were not a good environment for him. He put together some ideas and called upon Don Moreland and Harold Mick, who were both at that fateful Christmas party. As early as January 4, 1989, letters of invitation were sent to friends to attend an organizational meeting on January 13, 1989. A second meeting on January 27, 1989, was held to elect temporary officers and to consider a name for the organization. The first officers were: Don Moreland, president; Shirley M., vice-president; Eugene Van V., treasurer, and John Reeder, secretary. A specifically gay name was avoided because many of the prospective members were wary about being in an outwardly gay organization. A name was expeditiously chosen, and correspondence soon after the January 27 meeting contained the name “Mature Friends.” Legend has it that either John Reeder or Glen H. sat down with a dictionary and came up with the right combination of words. The name was also attributed to Dorothy F, another early member. The group was known thereafter as “Mature Friends.” The statement of purpose was “Mature Friends is a resource organization of individuals 50 years and older promoting human services, social interaction, education, and comraderie[sic] in and for the Lesbian and Gay community.”
First Gathering
Early in 1989, a Valentines Day party for gay and lesbian seniors was planned. The social room at Grace Gospel Church in Ballard was obtained free of charge. Invitations were sent out, and others were contacted by word of mouth. Around 25 people attended. It might be said that Mature Friends had its beginning at that party.
[I recall attending a February potluck a year or two later at Greenwood Hall, which John Reeder had decorated in a Valentines Day theme. John proclaimed it an anniversary potluck. — Dan L.].
While the Valentines Day party was a success, it was a new experience for many of the people who attended. Many had lived their lives with their gay identities hidden from all but their closest friends, and here they were at a party with people whom they barely knew or had not known at all. As John recalled, people barely uttered their first names.
Growth and New Locations
The success of the Valentines Day party prompted the fledgling organization to look for a larger space. John Reeder had access to Greenwood Hall in Phinney Ridge. Club members helped to clean up and paint the hall and helped John install a small kitchen. The monthly potlucks and activities such as the Bridge group met at Greenwood Hall until 1995. By then the membership had grown, and a larger space was needed. Thanks to a lead from member Bob Johnson, the club moved to the Odd Fellows Hall in Ballard, where the group continued to meet for 22 years. Then in April 2017, thanks to then-president Bruce T, we moved our home base to the Wallingford Community Senior Center.
Formalizing the Organization
In the months following that first Valentines Day party, members continued to meet. They still had in mind that Mature Friends was a social service organization. To be a credible organization when it came to tax exempt 501(c)3 status consideration, they felt it necessary to be on a sound financial footing. Fundraising activities were planned. One such activity was a garage sale, which was tremendously successful. Other fundraisers were progressive dinners, at which attendees contributed money. These activities put the club on firm financial ground. The progressive dinners eventually evolved into the “Table for Eight,” social gatherings wherein members gathered in groups of eight for dinner at a member’s home. They would then rotate among the group of eight. Eight people for dinner proved to be unwieldy and was changed to "Table of Six." This activity has since been renamed more appropriately “Dinner for Six,” which continues to the present day.
Socializing
Social activities were always part of Mature Friends. Some of the early activities were Saturday Socials, Lunch/Tea Dance, and outings. Travel was spearheaded by Eugene Van V. and is still one of the major activities today. The Saturday Social and the Lunch/Tea Dance did not last long, but very soon dining out, both lunch and dinner, became a regular activity. The Garden Tours were also popular. Both the dining out and garden tours were ideas promoted by Glen H. [It should be noted that Glen H. was a Landscape Architect.] A most enduring activity has been the potluck dinner. This event began in mid-1989 and continues as the most prominent monthly activity. Later activities included monthly walk/hike, both locally and farther afield, a weekly exercise group led by Len T. Members have more recently started groups for winetasting, card and board games, and even lawn bowling.
Discretion
While the club avoided an outwardly gay name early on, the active members promoted the club within the gay community. At the Pride Festival of 1989, the club staffed a booth to inform the community of the new organization and to recruit members. In 1996 and 1997, the club had a contingent in the Pride parades. Although Mature Friends has reached out to the gay community, the club membership list was, and is still, confidential. Only board members and activity heads have access to the membership list in order to conduct their club affairs.
Lesbian Membership Declines
In the beginning, there was a strong involvement of women in the organization. They served on committees and were board members. However, as the club grew, the number of women members has decreased as well as their participation in the club organization and activities. The bridge group still attracts women players. The decline in women members and their participation was regularly broached during the interviews for this history, but no definitive answer or answers were forthcoming.
Social Organization
The club has been a success as a social organization. As a group, it remains non-political and non-sectarian. The original idea as a social-service organization has largely been abandoned, mainly because the membership preferred it as a social organization. A Sunshine Committee functions currently to recognize members’ birthdays and send get well wishes for illnesses and condolences to survivors of members who have passed away.
Second Decade and Beyond
Thirty years later, Mature Friends still functions as an organization for older gays and lesbians in the Puget Sound Region. But as one member once remarked, “We’re not old, we’re MATURE.” And that has been the hallmark of Mature Friends. Far from being a group of senior citizens, Mature Friends have maintained a vibrancy and energy through the many activities sponsored by the club or informally among various members.
Update on Activities
The second decade saw Len T. at the helm, at the end of his long term as president beginning in 1994. He was succeeded by Lewis F. in 1999, followed by Don Moreland in 2000, Bob McQ. in 2002, Charlie F. in 2004 and Kent H. in 2007. Kent led Mature Friends into the Third Decade, before handing the presidency off to Mark J. in July 2010.
Many of the activities begun earlier still continue:
In addition to the Annual Banquet in June, an Annual Picnic takes place in August. The picnic has been held at various Seattle park locations through the years, from Lincoln Park, Seward Park, Woodland Park, to the present location at Hamlin Park. Larry W. organized the picnic for several years until he passed the leadership over to John K. Then Brian W. took over for two years, and now Bruce T. secures the shelter each year for the Annual Picnic.
Add to this the annual Christmas holiday brunch organized by Harry W. In 2014, Jim W. took over the brunch, and with the consent of members, stopped the white elephant gifts in exchange for bringing Toys for Tots.
Although Mature Friends initially avoided an overtly gay name, the club has not been hesitant about participation in the larger gay-lesbian community. From the beginning, active members marched in the Pride parade and staffed a booth at the annual Gay Pride festival.
Travel has been a part of the club from its inception and continues today. Trips organized by the Travel Committee are from short one-day or weekend trips to longer cross-country and overseas trips. They are too numerous to detail, but of the former, fun trips have been made to Vancouver, British Columbia, and Portland, Oregon, as well as wine tours in eastern Washington and in Oregon. Local trips include visits to the Glass Museum in Tacoma and the LeMay Car Museum also in Tacoma, where members waxed nostalgically. Trips farther afield include some fondly remembered ones, such as the trip to Montreal, to Eastern Europe, to the Mediterranean, Southeast Asia, China, and most recently Spain and southern France. We extend our thanks to Bruce T, Jerry J, and Don M, as well as Marlyce B. and Gary H. for their expertise and experience in organizing these trips.
Summing Up
The club continues to grow in membership. Paid members number between 200 and 300. The success of Mature Friends since its beginning in 1989 is best summed up by club president Charlie F. in 2006, “Our Club members, retired or not, possess extensive work history that they put to good use for the benefit of us all. Those qualities also make for exciting and stimulating association...I urge all members new and old to contribute to our many activities and projects...I’m confident that you will find your association with Mature Friends enjoyable and rewarding.”
How We Obtained the History
The committee obtained oral histories from as many of the founding and early members as possible. Interview sessions were recorded on tape and later transcribed. The University of Washington Library is final repository of the final report, as well as ancillary documents.
The committee interviewed 10 people who were either founding members or members at an early stage of the club. It was apparent at this stage, some 16-18 years after the founding of the club, that memories were a little hazy. Fortunately, the club's extensive archive of materials was an invaluable resource.
How We Formed
All the people interviewed agreed that John Reeder was the catalyst behind the formation of Mature Friends. John had not intended to found a new organization, preferring to work with existing organizations. One such organization was the Lavender Panthers, an offshoot of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a group created by Seattle Mayor Wes Uhlman. John was interested in having a safe place where men and women of the community could come together. John’s first activity with the Lavender Panthers was to help them organize a Christmas party in 1988. John enthusiastically helped plan the party, create the decorations with fresh greens, and provide red tablecloths and a program. John’s energetic efforts were not viewed favorably by the women who comprised most of the original members of the Lavender Panthers. His efforts were regarded as “taking over” the club.
Officers, Name, and Purpose
John still felt a need for an organization where older gays and lesbians, those over 50 years of age (now 40), could meet socially in a safe environment. A safe environment meant a non-bar environment, in as much as these were older people for whom the bar scene was not a good place to meet others their age. In addition, John himself was recovering from alcoholism, so bars were not a good environment for him. He put together some ideas and called upon Don Moreland and Harold Mick, who were both at that fateful Christmas party. As early as January 4, 1989, letters of invitation were sent to friends to attend an organizational meeting on January 13, 1989. A second meeting on January 27, 1989, was held to elect temporary officers and to consider a name for the organization. The first officers were: Don Moreland, president; Shirley M., vice-president; Eugene Van V., treasurer, and John Reeder, secretary. A specifically gay name was avoided because many of the prospective members were wary about being in an outwardly gay organization. A name was expeditiously chosen, and correspondence soon after the January 27 meeting contained the name “Mature Friends.” Legend has it that either John Reeder or Glen H. sat down with a dictionary and came up with the right combination of words. The name was also attributed to Dorothy F, another early member. The group was known thereafter as “Mature Friends.” The statement of purpose was “Mature Friends is a resource organization of individuals 50 years and older promoting human services, social interaction, education, and comraderie[sic] in and for the Lesbian and Gay community.”
First Gathering
Early in 1989, a Valentines Day party for gay and lesbian seniors was planned. The social room at Grace Gospel Church in Ballard was obtained free of charge. Invitations were sent out, and others were contacted by word of mouth. Around 25 people attended. It might be said that Mature Friends had its beginning at that party.
[I recall attending a February potluck a year or two later at Greenwood Hall, which John Reeder had decorated in a Valentines Day theme. John proclaimed it an anniversary potluck. — Dan L.].
While the Valentines Day party was a success, it was a new experience for many of the people who attended. Many had lived their lives with their gay identities hidden from all but their closest friends, and here they were at a party with people whom they barely knew or had not known at all. As John recalled, people barely uttered their first names.
Growth and New Locations
The success of the Valentines Day party prompted the fledgling organization to look for a larger space. John Reeder had access to Greenwood Hall in Phinney Ridge. Club members helped to clean up and paint the hall and helped John install a small kitchen. The monthly potlucks and activities such as the Bridge group met at Greenwood Hall until 1995. By then the membership had grown, and a larger space was needed. Thanks to a lead from member Bob Johnson, the club moved to the Odd Fellows Hall in Ballard, where the group continued to meet for 22 years. Then in April 2017, thanks to then-president Bruce T, we moved our home base to the Wallingford Community Senior Center.
Formalizing the Organization
In the months following that first Valentines Day party, members continued to meet. They still had in mind that Mature Friends was a social service organization. To be a credible organization when it came to tax exempt 501(c)3 status consideration, they felt it necessary to be on a sound financial footing. Fundraising activities were planned. One such activity was a garage sale, which was tremendously successful. Other fundraisers were progressive dinners, at which attendees contributed money. These activities put the club on firm financial ground. The progressive dinners eventually evolved into the “Table for Eight,” social gatherings wherein members gathered in groups of eight for dinner at a member’s home. They would then rotate among the group of eight. Eight people for dinner proved to be unwieldy and was changed to "Table of Six." This activity has since been renamed more appropriately “Dinner for Six,” which continues to the present day.
Socializing
Social activities were always part of Mature Friends. Some of the early activities were Saturday Socials, Lunch/Tea Dance, and outings. Travel was spearheaded by Eugene Van V. and is still one of the major activities today. The Saturday Social and the Lunch/Tea Dance did not last long, but very soon dining out, both lunch and dinner, became a regular activity. The Garden Tours were also popular. Both the dining out and garden tours were ideas promoted by Glen H. [It should be noted that Glen H. was a Landscape Architect.] A most enduring activity has been the potluck dinner. This event began in mid-1989 and continues as the most prominent monthly activity. Later activities included monthly walk/hike, both locally and farther afield, a weekly exercise group led by Len T. Members have more recently started groups for winetasting, card and board games, and even lawn bowling.
Discretion
While the club avoided an outwardly gay name early on, the active members promoted the club within the gay community. At the Pride Festival of 1989, the club staffed a booth to inform the community of the new organization and to recruit members. In 1996 and 1997, the club had a contingent in the Pride parades. Although Mature Friends has reached out to the gay community, the club membership list was, and is still, confidential. Only board members and activity heads have access to the membership list in order to conduct their club affairs.
Lesbian Membership Declines
In the beginning, there was a strong involvement of women in the organization. They served on committees and were board members. However, as the club grew, the number of women members has decreased as well as their participation in the club organization and activities. The bridge group still attracts women players. The decline in women members and their participation was regularly broached during the interviews for this history, but no definitive answer or answers were forthcoming.
Social Organization
The club has been a success as a social organization. As a group, it remains non-political and non-sectarian. The original idea as a social-service organization has largely been abandoned, mainly because the membership preferred it as a social organization. A Sunshine Committee functions currently to recognize members’ birthdays and send get well wishes for illnesses and condolences to survivors of members who have passed away.
Second Decade and Beyond
Thirty years later, Mature Friends still functions as an organization for older gays and lesbians in the Puget Sound Region. But as one member once remarked, “We’re not old, we’re MATURE.” And that has been the hallmark of Mature Friends. Far from being a group of senior citizens, Mature Friends have maintained a vibrancy and energy through the many activities sponsored by the club or informally among various members.
Update on Activities
The second decade saw Len T. at the helm, at the end of his long term as president beginning in 1994. He was succeeded by Lewis F. in 1999, followed by Don Moreland in 2000, Bob McQ. in 2002, Charlie F. in 2004 and Kent H. in 2007. Kent led Mature Friends into the Third Decade, before handing the presidency off to Mark J. in July 2010.
Many of the activities begun earlier still continue:
- The potluck, held on the last Saturday of the month, still draws a large number of members and guests, with often more than seventy attending.
- The Bridge group, one of the earliest special interest groups, continues today with as many as six tables of avid players weekly. The Bridge group was headed for many years by C. Henry H. and later by Paul S.
- Not to be outdone, a Pinochle group, under Walter J. and others, was started in 2006 and attracts twelve to fifteen participants in their twice monthly meetings. The group stopped meeting in 2022.
- There is a weekly walk around Green Lake, often attracting about 30 walkers.
- For the more adventurously inclined, a monthly hike, sometimes in local parks and sometimes farther afield in the Cascades, is held, first under the capable leadership of John K. and more lately under Dale J.
- In addition, the garden tour group has visited many public and private gardens in the region. For years these were organized by horticulturalist Dr. John Wott.
In addition to the Annual Banquet in June, an Annual Picnic takes place in August. The picnic has been held at various Seattle park locations through the years, from Lincoln Park, Seward Park, Woodland Park, to the present location at Hamlin Park. Larry W. organized the picnic for several years until he passed the leadership over to John K. Then Brian W. took over for two years, and now Bruce T. secures the shelter each year for the Annual Picnic.
Add to this the annual Christmas holiday brunch organized by Harry W. In 2014, Jim W. took over the brunch, and with the consent of members, stopped the white elephant gifts in exchange for bringing Toys for Tots.
Although Mature Friends initially avoided an overtly gay name, the club has not been hesitant about participation in the larger gay-lesbian community. From the beginning, active members marched in the Pride parade and staffed a booth at the annual Gay Pride festival.
Travel has been a part of the club from its inception and continues today. Trips organized by the Travel Committee are from short one-day or weekend trips to longer cross-country and overseas trips. They are too numerous to detail, but of the former, fun trips have been made to Vancouver, British Columbia, and Portland, Oregon, as well as wine tours in eastern Washington and in Oregon. Local trips include visits to the Glass Museum in Tacoma and the LeMay Car Museum also in Tacoma, where members waxed nostalgically. Trips farther afield include some fondly remembered ones, such as the trip to Montreal, to Eastern Europe, to the Mediterranean, Southeast Asia, China, and most recently Spain and southern France. We extend our thanks to Bruce T, Jerry J, and Don M, as well as Marlyce B. and Gary H. for their expertise and experience in organizing these trips.
Summing Up
The club continues to grow in membership. Paid members number between 200 and 300. The success of Mature Friends since its beginning in 1989 is best summed up by club president Charlie F. in 2006, “Our Club members, retired or not, possess extensive work history that they put to good use for the benefit of us all. Those qualities also make for exciting and stimulating association...I urge all members new and old to contribute to our many activities and projects...I’m confident that you will find your association with Mature Friends enjoyable and rewarding.”